


ncruuk's 'The West Wing' 'fluff' one-shots (from the days of LiveJournal) by ncruuk

by ncruuk



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Community: femslash_fluff, F/F, imported from LJ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-05
Updated: 2007-06-24
Packaged: 2018-10-16 21:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10579953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncruuk/pseuds/ncruuk
Summary: The consolidated collection of all my 'The West Wing' 'fluff' one-shots written back in the day of LJ, mostly in the 'femslash_fluff' LJ community @kimly masterminded for me to have fun in, and for which I'm very, very grateful as without that, I'd not still be writing fic now.Each 'chapter' is its own one-shot - the pairing is shown in the chapter title.[With thanks to the original challengers and providers of visual inspiration (screencaps/icons) - I've tried to include credit wherever possible with the original LJ username.]N.B. These were written in the mid 2000s - that's more than a decade ago, not to mention several hundred thousand words of writing ago....





	1. Ancient Secret Service Tricks... [CJ Cregg/Gina Toscano]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The CHALLENGE:
> 
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"It's really not going to work y'know..."

"Excuse me?" Confused, CJ decided deniability was the way forward.

"Waiting for me to pour coffee before checking out my backside...not going to work..." teased Gina, wondering how the controlled Press Secretary would react.

"I wasn't checking out your..." began CJ, in genuine defensive outrage, only to catch herself,

"Wait, how did you know I wasn't looking at the clocks?" she asked, switching to her 'professional' mode - she was the Press Secretary damnit, and avoiding questions was her job.

"Ancient Secret Service trick..." teased Gina, returning the coffee jug to the hotplate and turning to look at CJ.

"...sure you don't want coffee?"

"That's not coffee..." commented CJ, eying the thick, treacle like brew with suspicion.

"No, but it's my only option right now..." agreed Gina, taking a sip and leaning back against the counter.

"So..." began CJ finally, unable to cope as well with extending silences as the Secret Service agent.

"Why are you still standing there?" asked Gina, never one for the soft approach if there was some direct action available to her - it was in part what made her a good agent.

"I..." CJ wasn't entirely sure, "I'll go..." she accentuated her decision with her glasses, ready to turn on her heel and stride out of what was now, for her, awkward, although for Gina it seemed to be amusing.

"I don't mind, you know..."

"Mind what?"

"You checking me out..."

"I didn't...I can't..." The more she realised quite how well Gina had read her, the more flustered she became. She couldn't....she shouldn't....

"Sure you can..." agreed Gina with the ease of someone who spent their daytime looking for bullets to stop. Coaxing a tense Press Secretary to unwind and relax was easy by comparison.

"But..." Again the glasses gestured what words couldn't say, namely the hustle of the Secret Service bullpen.

"We don't let reporters in here CJ..." explained Gina kindly, understanding the issues that had to be dealt with for the tall red head to relax and be herself, rather than her persona.

"And...." More eloquence from the glasses, with an expression that Gina could only describe as troubled, although the worry was, she hoped, fading.

"They already know..."

"That I think you're cute?" blurted out CJ, before clapping her hand over her mouth in horror, prompting Gina to break out into a brilliant smile - she'd finally broken down through the Press Secretary's veneer.

"Actually, I was talking about your preferences...but that's good to know!"

"They, you do?"

"It's amazing what the Secret Service knows about the people they protect..." explained Gina, taking another generous sip of her coffee, as much for the moment it bought her, rather than an actual need for caffeine.

"They know..." This time, the quiet comment from CJ, almost a whisper in fact, wasn't a question, but a statement of relief. In this tiny corner of Washington D.C., where the politics really didn't matter, she could relax...

"Yeah..." confirmed Gina, before deciding a mood shift was needed,

"But you still haven't answered my question...."

"You didn't ask a question, you passed comment..." countered CJ, her lightning quick mind and clever wit not letting the opportunity pass.

"Ok..." drawled Gina, glad she'd managed to get through to the intriguing woman on a personal level.

"Why were you checking me out whilst I poured some coffee?"

"Because I think you're cute..." replied CJ boldly, finding a confidence with women she thought she'd long forgotten, left behind on a beach somewhere in California.

"Why did you stay when I went to pour the coffee?" asked Gina, enjoying the game they'd somehow started playing.

"Because I think you're smart, funny and probably amazing in bed..." admitted CJ, belatedly realising that trying to out-dare a Secret Service Agent probably wasn't a good plan - nerves of steel had to be standard issue surely?

"Why are you still here now?" asked Gina, her voice shading with a new colour, one that hinted of passion and seriousness. This was not a question CJ was going to joke or spin out of.

"Because I think, for the first time in a long, long time, I'd like to spend some time with someone..." CJ paused and took a composing deep breath, determined to follow through with her thought and not take an easy way out - it was time to be true to herself, and not her job, "...someone I'd like to start thinking of as my girlfriend...."

"Really?" Gina was impressed and surprised by CJ's boldness and honesty.

"Really..."

"I'm not the easiest person to be in a relationship with...." admitted Gina honestly, thinking of the long shifts when she'd be with Zoe Bartlett, doing a job that by its very definition, was hard on partners.

"That was going to be my line..." admitted CJ, smiling shyly.

"When should I start making your life difficult then?"

"You working tonight?"

"At the dinner, same as you..."

"Midnight?" suggested CJ, thanking any deity that might be eavesdropping for making tomorrow a Saturday which Jed Bartlett had decided the Senior Staff were forbidden from coming to work on.

"Sure...your apartment?" guessed Gina, knowing CJ would probably prefer the lower profile location.

"You don't mind?" asked CJ, grateful for the consideration.

"I'm not that good in public places..." admitted Gina shyly, her eyes darting about the room, explaining everything to CJ. In crowds, Gina couldn't help but be alert and watchful.

"Midnight then..."

"See you there..."

"You know my address?"

"I will do by then...."

"Ancient Secret Service trick?" guessed CJ, just as her pager started vibrating, demanding her presence elsewhere.

"Actually..." drawled Gina, grinning brightly, "I was just going to look it up in your file..."

"Ah..." Smiling, CJ turned to head out of the bullpen, only for the picture above the coffee machine to catch her eye.

"Interesting picture...."

"Never really noticed...." observed Gina, looking at it briefly, before turning and grinning at CJ, "...but it works as a great mirror!"

 


	2. Xena to my Amazon....[CJ Cregg/Gina Toscano]

"I can't believe you did that!" exclaimed CJ, dropping into her couch.

"I didn't...." began Special Agent Gina Toscano, only to rephrase when she saw CJ's pointed look, "...well, I didn't personally do it...."

"But you were involved?"

"I gave Zoey the money to buy it, yes," agreed Gina, leaning against the doorframe of CJ's office. It was almost midnight and most of the building was quiet, with just the occasional stray Senior Staff member or policy aide desperately trying to find the surface of their desk before tomorrow morning officially began.

"And she put it in the briefing room?" asked CJ, determined to get the facts straight before she exacted her revenge.

"No, she gave it to Danny Concannon, and he put it in the briefing room...." explained Gina, grinning lazily at her lover. It wasn't often that the serious Secret Service Agent managed to score a point against the quick witted, sharp tongued Press Secretary but today, with some innocent helpers, she'd managed it, and managed it well.

"So I should kill Danny?" teased CJ, wondering if she could tempt Gina in from the doorframe to the couch. It had been a long day, a day that, apart from that mid afternoon briefing, had been too long and too boring. It was exactly the sort of day that would be improved by a few quiet moments on the couch in her office with Gina. Unfortunately, two hours ago, the day had changed. In a few short hours, Air Force One would leave with both Gina and CJ on it for a whistle-stop tour of god knows where in an attempt to prevent who knew what from happening. Instead of being home, in bed together, CJ was pacing the White House, trying to make sure there were file answers for anything that might happen in the next 48 hours whilst Gina was preparing for anything that could happen to Zoey Bartlett in the next 48 hours. It had been pure chance that they had met in a deserted hallway, enabling CJ to question Gina on the events of her earlier briefing, when the day had still been officially dull.

"Best not, he's an innocent in all of this....anyway, what was the problem?" asked Gina, not quite sure why CJ was obsessing about it.

"What was the problem? You don't see any problem with this?"

"No, not really, you did the briefing great...answered questions and everything...." drawled Gina, smirking at her now visibly flustered lover. If there was one thing that really got to CJ it was Gina's laid back attitude, which CJ always claimed struck at the strangest of times. In Gina's view, her attitude was well placed and it was always CJ's panic and tension that struck at the strangest of times, but then when your day job is fielding bullets, it probably skews your perspective a bit.....

"I looked an idiot!"

"Why...I thought you looked sexy...."

"Thank you...." CJ's response to the compliment was instinctual, earning her a bigger smirk from Gina before the tall Press Secretary continued, "....I can't believe it sat there for the entire briefing...."

"It's a stuffed toy, you expected it to walk out after the interest rate announcement?"

"It was in the front row for god's sake, the whole country saw it!"

"Exactly...."

"What?" Gina's comment threw CJ for a loop, prompting her to look up at her lover in hope of an explanation.

"That was the point, for the whole country to see it...." explained Gina, resisting the strong urge to join CJ on the couch. She was working, and would never leave the office before dawn if she crossed the threshold to join her lover.

"Why?"

"I know how much you hated your codename...."

"So you arranged for me to do the afternoon briefing with a life-sized toy flamingo in the front row? That's real considerate lover, real romantic...." groused CJ, turning away from Gina in an attempt to sulk.

"Secret Service Codenames are impossible for the protectee to change...."

"I know, I've tried, remember?"

"But can be changed, are changed if it is feared that the codename becomes too widely known outside of normal operating circles...." seeing CJ's confused look, Gina rephrased, "..uh, if too many people outside of the White House know the codename, we have to change it...."

"So a toy flamingo in my televised briefing?" asked CJ curiously, only now seeing the sparkle of humour in Gina's rich eyes.

"Is enough to make 'Flamingo' a lousy codename for you....."

"I'm no longer 'Flamingo'?" asked CJ hopefully, getting to her feet.

"Not to the Service, no...." grinned Gina, knowing how much CJ really hated the codename. Unfortunately, it was hard for the Secret Service Agent to know if she'd like her new one any better.

"You knew this?" asked CJ, shuffling in her stocking clad feet across her office towards Gina, still leaning against the doorframe.

"Yes...."

"You organised this for me?"

"Yes...."

"Thank you...." Now only inches in front of Gina, CJ leaned forwards and placed a tender kiss on the Agent's lips. Just as Gina was about to attempt to deepen the kiss, CJ pulled back, a sudden thought hitting her.

"If I'm no longer 'Flamingo'...."

"Amazon, your new codename is Amazon...." revealed Gina, hoping to steal another kiss. She'd started hearing chatter in her earpiece which, whilst not yet for her could only mean that someone would be wanting her soon and come looking for her.

"Amazon huh?" Gina couldn't identify the expression on CJ's face so was unprepared for what came next.

"Guess that makes you my 'Xena' then...." breathed CJ, starting what Gina would later recall to be the most spectacular kiss she'd ever experienced in a Federal Building.....

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge: CJ Cregg/anyone, Flamingo, Press Briefing Room


	3. Happy Meals and Grasshoppers [CJ Cregg/Ainsley Hayes]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may help if you know that a grasshopper is a cocktail.....

It was late at night in the West Wing and, whilst far from deserted, being fully staffed with police, marines and secret service, the absence of all the clerical staff did make the building feel deserted. Striding out of her office, past the empty desks which in a few short hours would once again be filled with eager young staffers ready to work small administrative miracles for their bosses, CJ enjoyed the relative quiet and stillness of the bullpen as she set about finding a photocopying machine.

"Great, we're god knows how many gazillion in debt and some clever dick thinks it's prudent to save 50 cents on electricity by turning off the copier..." groused CJ, her earlier charitable thoughts about the Communications 'little people' evaporating in a moment as she found the on button and waited for the photocopier to get its shit together and ready to copy her three newspaper cuttings which instinct told her would be good for the spin boys to read with their morning muffins.

As she waited, she found her mind wandering as she started to notice things about this particular part of the bullpen that she rarely spent any time in at all, and certainly not when she was in a position to admire the sconce work and plaster detail. Her musings were cut short however, by the faint click of feminine heels on marble corridor floor which were gradually, albeit carefully and slowly, getting nearer. Mentally reviewing all those she knew to be in this part of the building who would be wearing such a heel, CJ eliminated herself, because she was standing still, and Donna, because there wasn't the accompanying soft shoe shuffle of Josh as he tormented her, which left, according to CJ's check list, only Abbey Bartlett and...

The faint hum of a Gilbert and Sullivan song confirmed the identity, causing CJ to relax once more, only for it to be replaced with barely concealed amusement as the hum turned to actual singing and the faint clack of heels was replaced by the sight and sound of Ainsley Hayes walking up the corridor, singing quietly to herself. But none of that was what was causing CJ's amusement.

"Hello CJ...." drawled Ainsley, recognising her lover who was now propped casually up against the copier.  
  
"Hey...having fun?" asked CJ, trying desperately not to laugh.  
  
"Almost, although my entertainment and delight would be improved greatly if I could persuade a certain individual who, despite their political preferences, is someone who I have a lot of feeling for, and I rather enjoy kissing, is currently standing some distance from me, if that person could be persuaded to kiss me..."

The normally verbose Ainsley's natural conversation style favoured lengthy sentences with many sub-clauses which, whilst CJ found easy to untangle during normal working hours, often became incomprehensible when CJ was either tired or sober to an obviously slightly tipsy Ainsley.

"Ah....you had fun?"  
  
"I did...and I brought you a present. You can't get grasshoppers as take out...." pouted Ainsley holding out her gift to her lover, sad that she hadn't managed a proper treat.

"Thank you...I think..." began CJ, carefully accepting the large helium filled balloon that Ainsley handed to her, wondering what on earth she'd been up to - hadn't she been just going out for drinks with friends?  
  
"I had a Happy Meal...." continued Ainsley, content to walk with CJ back to her office, now the photocopying was complete.  
  
"A Happy Meal?" CJ was confused, but had a feeling that explained the balloon which, on closer inspection, seemed to be branded 'MacDonalds'.  
  
"I didn't eat lunch..." explained Ainsley, collapsing on CJ's couch and enjoying the long arms that snaked around her, the balloon forgotten as it floated up to the ceiling.  
  
"Sounds like you didn't eat dinner either..." observed CJ, deciding that home was now infinitely more attractive than it had been two hours ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CJ/Ainsley Hayes, balloon, West Wing Corridor


	4. They have memos for that? [CJ Cregg/Kate Harper]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It probably helps if you know the episode in an early season when they had the Campaign flashback with CJ throwing the basketball through the window and then the episode in season 6 when she 'scores' a basket in the trash can...
> 
> There is blatent Josh and TPTB bashing ahead...for which I make no apology ;-)

There were many things, realised Josh Lyman, you should not do if you wanted to survive in your job with your genitals intact past dinnertime. Amazingly, having a water fight in the corridors of the West Wing was not one of those things...

...but throwing a water balloon at the Deputy NSA probably was, especially considering he'd only just survived the first conversation he'd ever had with her.

"Josh..."

"Kate..."

"Quiet day?"

"It's Sunday morning..." protested Josh, wishing he could stuff his hands in his pockets, but unable to do so due to the two water balloons he held.

"Your point?" Inwardly, Kate was rather amused by what had just happened, but she knew better than to share that particular piece of information with Josh.

"Have fun?" suggested Josh, wondering if the Deputy NSA even knew how to have fun - she seemed to be constantly 'on duty'.

"In the West Wing with water balloons?"

"Sure..."

"Who got you?" asked Kate, eying the wet spots on his shirt.

"Charlie, Will, Donna...but I got Charlie and Will..." explained Josh, as if that somehow reaffirmed his manliness.

"Not CJ?" asked Kate, noticing the obvious omission from his list.

"Haven't seen her..."

"Ah...she's in her office..."

"I know..."

"Avoiding her?"

"No..." Josh's protestation was far from convincing.

"Sure about that?"

"Would you throw a water balloon at CJ?" asked Josh, suddenly finding another level of respect for Kate. It had been a long time since he or any of the other Senior Staffers had tried playing any sort of joke on CJ - she was just too damn good at exacting revenge.

"Sure..." agreed Kate easily, enjoying the surprise on Josh's face.

"You serious?" asked Josh, only to mentally correct himself when he saw the look Kate was directing at him. She was the Deputy NSA, of course she was serious.

Suddenly hearing CJ's voice, Josh acted impulsively, tossing a water balloon in a high, looping arc, to Kate who, instinctively, caught it with all the care and concentration you would use when catching a live hand grenade.

"Dare ya!" challenged Josh, impressed that she had actually managed to catch the water balloon without bursting it.

"Dare ya what?" asked CJ, rounding the corner and hearing the end of Josh's challenge.

"Throw this water balloon at you..." explained Kate reasonably, holding out the 'missile' for CJ to consider, an action that suddenly made Josh feel rather nervous.

"Water balloons?" CJ directed the question at Josh.

"It's Sunday!" he protested, as if that made everything make sense.

"Indeed, my friend, so it is..." agreed CJ, taking the water balloon from Kate and adjusting her glasses.

"CJ?" Josh was now seriously regretting getting Kate involved - surely CJ wouldn't....

"Hey! CJ...." Josh's shout was triggered by the sudden soaking of his shirt front as a surprisingly well aimed water balloon collided with some speed with his chest.

"3 points?" asked CJ smugly, looking at her girlfriend who was struggling to keep a straight face.

"But you can't throw!" protested Josh, feeling it was unfair that they'd ganged up on him

"Didn't you get the memo?" asked CJ, amused.

"There was a memo? DONNA?"

"Yes Josh?" asked Donna serenely, appearing around the corner as if by some perfectly orchestrated magic.

"There was a memo?" asked Josh, confused.

"Yes...CJ's now the most powerful woman in the country, so naturally, she can suddenly throw and play basketball really, really well..." explained Donna wearily, positive she'd already had to explain this to Josh.

"She can?"

"Sure..."

"Why?"

"She's a lesbian..." answered Donna patiently, unable to muster any surprise about how little her boss noticed sometimes.

"She is?" asked Josh, shocked. Turning to CJ, intending to get her to answer his questions his jaw hit the floor as every teenage fantasy suddenly came true...

"Wow...she is..." Standing in the corridor of an otherwise deserted West Wing, on a quiet Sunday when no one really cared what the Leader of the Free World was up to stood CJ, enjoying a kiss with her girlfriend....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHALLENGE: CJ/anyone, corridor, balloon


	5. What shall we do today? [CJ Cregg/Kate Harper]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I think I might need to apologise for some of this...the eight nations and three capital cities named in this fic are picked because they've got nice names and are geographically convenient or are an in-joke from the show itself...I hold no views on any of them....please, take this 'nation-bashing' in the spirit it is intended, with a smile...
> 
> SPOILERS: Kate nearly invaded someone (someone = a nation that really is quite funny in this context) in season 6. If you don't know who/don't want to know who, look away for this fluff....

 

"Commander Harper?"

"Yes?" Turning away from the balcony, Kate looked at the man who had stopped a respectful couple of strides away, his dark suit and tie, coupled with the earpiece and American accent elevated him from the ranks of faceless security staff to being a nameless Secret Service Agent.

"This just arrived for you from the Chief of Staff..." he explained, holding out a padded envelope that had obviously come up with the day's briefing papers. Whilst the President was speaking at the Summit in London, he had only travelled with a skeleton domestic policy staff, CJ Cregg remaining in D.C. - that decision may have been based on sound political strategising Kate couldn't help but also guess that her lover had perhaps decided to stay behind since, well, to put it bluntly, she'd have had to fly in the overhead compartment, so full was Air Force One of staff from State. Given the delicate situation in the Middle East, not to mention all the policy ambitions that the Summit itself presented, Kate and the Secretary of State had, between them, been forced to bring what felt like one advisor for every country in the UN, and a few spares for good luck...even the Press had had to give up their seats on Air Force One and fly Delta to London....

"Thank you..." acknowledged Kate, accepting the envelope before once again deliberately turning her back on him and surveying the lobby below them, which right now was deserted, but in a few minutes would become a flurry of activity as various Presidential details tried to usher their respective Head of State out of the auditorium and into their convoys...it would be well organised diplomatic chaos, something Kate was only too happy to avoid.

The agent forgotten, Kate opened the slim package, expecting to find the latest briefing book on Uzbekistan, Liechtenstein or Kyrgyzstan, or any number of countries who she was currently glad she merely had to be able to pronounce, and not spell. Instead, what she pulled out was much smaller than expected, and actually wrapped in brightly coloured paper which, on closer scrutiny, was actually proclaiming 'Happy Birthday'. Pausing a moment to consider the date, Kate wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or relieved to realise she'd forgotten that today was her thirty-eighth birthday, before continuing to unwrap....a complete set of Rand McNally map sheets for Canada!

 

 

* * *

 

"...and make sure you spell Tel Aviv with only one 'l'..." yelled CJ as the target of her frustration left her office...it wasn't his fault the one typo in the 200 page document happened to be the Chief of Staff's pet peeve, having seen every possible misspelling of that particular city when she was Press Secretary, "...MARGARET?"

"Yes CJ?"

"Get me..." CJ's request was abruptly terminated when her cell phone rang what Margaret knew to be the 'gets CJ happy in two rings so clear the office now!' ring. Even as CJ was reaching for the cell and turning her back on the door, her request forgotten, Margaret was reversing out of the office, happy to close the door and not reopen it until CJ's good humour had been relocated. With the President in London with most of his advisors, the day was stressful enough, without CJ being unusually cranky...

"Hey...Happy Birthday..." greeted CJ, tossing her glasses on the desk and kicking off her shoes, determined to relax for as long as this conversation was allowed to last.

"It was supposed to be classified..." grumbled Kate, only slightly good-naturedly, wondering how her lover had managed to get the date right.

"I have clearance..." teased CJ, reaching for her coffee, only to ignore it again when the mug was stone cold to her touch.

"It's codeword..."

"Yes, and I thought I got all the words in the right order yesterday morning..." recalled CJ, remembering their all too brief but nevertheless enjoyable parting at 4.30am when Kate's car came to collect her from CJ's apartment and take her to Andrews to meet Air Force One.

"You did...but how did you know?" asked Kate, trying desperately not to dwell on those thoughts, especially not when she could see the French Security Minister storming through the lobby, obviously upset by what he'd just heard. She was going to have a busy afternoon....

"Nancy told me...thought you might need a pick-me-up after the speech..." admitted CJ, wishing she could have sent something a little more, well, romantic, but unwilling to risk it given how many security checks the gift would be subjected to.

"Did she pick the gift?" asked Kate, all naive hopes that her Boss hadn't heard about that particular evening being shot to hell.

"She may have hinted..." confirmed CJ, wishing she could have seen Kate's expression at that moment, "...she said to tell you she was impressed by the way..."

"What, that I didn't invade Canada?"

"That you had the forethought to ask if we had a map..."

"I'm still not sure if I should be relieved that we didn't have one..."

"Nancy's put in a requisition for a nifty wall chart, laminated so you can draw invasion plans on it with magic markers..." The serious tone CJ used prompted Kate to smirk - she really could see some of the military strategists setting on such a wall chart with enthusiasm....and multi-coloured magic markers....

"She requisition the four or six colour packs?"

"Those ones that change colour if you use the magic pen..."

"And so my paper set?"

"Is in case you need to organise a decoy invasion in a rush after the President's speech..."

"Ah..." Looking back down at the lobby, Kate watched the tail end of the Presidential Detail exit, Bartlett having been put in his car seconds earlier. Judging by the groups of animated diplomats gathering around the edges of the lobby, it wasn't just the French who might need some attention this afternoon...

"It looked good on television, lots of applause..." observed CJ, remembering the pictures she'd had showing in the background whilst she'd skimmed the Tel Aviv report.

"That was inside the room..."

"And in the lobby?" asked CJ, knowing exactly where Kate would be camped out.

"If I'm as good at this as you all think I am, badly..."

"Oh?"

"I'm gonna have to go..."

"That bad?"

"I think Sweden's neutrality is about to be permanently damaged..."

"What's happening?" asked CJ, straightening in her chair - yes, the speech had meant to be radical, but surely not that inflammatory...

"I'm about to take one for my country..." mumbled Kate, before striding over to the escalator and quickly melting into the throng in the lobby.

"Kate?"

"Germany and Russia are about to punch the poor guy..."

* * *

 

 

There was silence in CJ's office as she listened to Kate begin to attempt pacify the irate diplomats, who were currently venting their frustration with each other through the Swedish Ambassador, only for the conversation to be suddenly terminated by what sounded like someone's nose being broken.

"Kate?"

"D'ime here CJ..." mumbled Kate, accepting a handkerchief from the Swedish Ambassador and holding it against her broken nose in a rather swift and practiced motion.

"What happened?"

"Chivalry is dead in the German Republic, but Sweden's still neutral..." said Kate, hoping that CJ would be able to decipher what she'd said as experience told her that her words would be sounding very different now her nose was no longer, well, nose-shaped.

"And the US?"

"Has two allies and a broken nose..." snuffled Kate, glad she'd managed to contain the situation with the handkerchief before it involved her suit. She liked this suit...CJ liked her in this suit...

"You ok?" asked CJ, concerned and slightly panicked. This had supposed to be diplomacy, not school-yard bully tactics.

"I will be...look, I have to go..." At least, that's what CJ thought Kate said - it was getting increasingly difficult to understand what Kate's snuffled mumbles were actually meant to be.

"You'll get it fixed?"

"Sure...listen I..."

"Got to go, yeah, me too..." sighed CJ, all too aware that, whilst not having her privacy invaded, Margaret had opened the office door slightly which, as non-subtle clues went, was a fairly good one...

"I'll be ok..." reassured Kate, waving off the Secret Service Agents that were now wanting to guard her in case anyone else got a little too passionate in their reviewing of the speech.

"Happy Birthday sweetheart..."

"Dank you..."

"Go invade Canada..." instructed CJ warmly, before ending the call when she heard Kate's mumbled conversation with the Secret Service get cut off as the Deputy NSA ended the connection.

"We're invading Canada?"

"Gees Margaret, don't do that..." shrieked CJ, the sudden silent arrival of her assistant making her literally jump.

"Sorry..." apologised Margaret, looking anything but, before repeating, "...we're invading Canada?"

"No, look, get me David at State, he needs to brief now..."

"About the Speech? I thought you'd told them to schedule that for 2..."

"Yes, no, this is a different brief..."

"Okay..." Margaret managed to introduce about three extra syllables into the word as she stood, pen poised, ready to scribble the outline brief into her notebook.

"Sweden supports the ideas and is already acting as negotiator for our position, although Germany is reluctant to share this view, Russia seems prepared to defend it…I think..." CJ paused as she tried to recall if Kate had actually told her whether it was the Germans punching a dissenting or agreeing Russian representative, "...no, he can only mention the Swedes, Russia and Germany merely hold strong views..."

"And we're briefing this because?"

"The German delegate just broke Kate Harper's nose..."

"You're kidding me..."

"Go ring David..."

"Wow..."

"MARGARET..."

"It's just, well..."

"Well what?" asked CJ, familiar enough with Margaret now to know that if she was given the opportunity to finish her thought, she'd head back to work far quicker than if CJ attempted to herd her back to work.

"Broken noses can be kind of sexy, don't you think?"

"GET OUT!" As if to illustrate her point, CJ rose from her chair and made to throw her pen in the direction of Margaret's departing back.

Returning to her chair, CJ shook her head in disbelief, before reaching for the next paper on her reading stack, only to instead grab her Blackberry and send a message to Kate,

*Margaret thinks broken noses are kind of sexy...!*

before smiling and settling down to read the report. Three pages later, she eagerly opened the response,

*And Margaret's boss?*

*Is quite fond of the nose you left with yesterday...* responded CJ, valiantly trying to start on the second paragraph of page four. She got as far as paragraph five, when,

*It's being reset in an hour...then I invade Canada... :-) *

It wasn't often you could hear the Chief of Staff's laughter from down the hall...but, once they'd got over the shock, everyone got back to work...it was a quiet day in the White House, with many people not sure what to do...perhaps it was time to invade Canada?

Now, if only they could find the map...


	6. Cocktails at 30,000 feet [CJ Cregg/Kate Harper]

Today was not going well. Or was it today? When you were taking off from D.C. at the end of the working day and flying on Air Force One West across the International Dateline, was it still today? Or was it yesterday? Confused, CJ Cregg dropped into the comfortable leather recliner and willed her brain to stop making trouble.

"Can I get you a drink Ma'am?" enquired the steward politely, hovering just outside her personal space and slightly to the side, allowing the exhausted Chief of Staff to extend her legs out in front of her.

"Yes....I'll have a..." CJ paused as she tried to decide what sort of a drink she felt like. She'd just got as far as deciding it needed to be strong and alcoholic when a new voice cut into her musings.

"CJ will have whatever she normally has when she's feeling in need of a cocktail, and I'll have a Mojito..." declared a new female voice, the owner of which sank into the adjacent recliner, one which afforded her an excellent view of her lover's mile long legs.

"One Mojito and a Grasshopper?" asked the steward, waiting for confirmation from CJ.

"Sounds about right, thank you," agreed CJ, nodding in thanks to the steward before turning her attention to the blonde now seated besides her.

"How did you know I'd want a Grasshopper?"

"I didn't....what is it?" asked Kate Harper, settling back into her chair and crossing her legs, enjoying being able to stretch her legs out and not have the longest female legs in the cabin.

"A strong alcoholic cocktail, mint and chocolate.....god, I haven't drunk cocktails in years, certainly since re-election...." explained CJ, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose. That really would do nothing to help her headache.

"Headache?" asked the Deputy NSA kindly, rubbing her own forehead lightly in an attempt to shift her tension headache.

"How'd you guess?" grumbled CJ.

"What's he said now?" asked Kate, wondering what strange decision Bartlett had made now. This trip had supposed to be a fairly routine, end of administration trip to Japan for an Economics Summit, with Jed Bartlett getting to play the elder statesman and Nobel Prize winning Economist. Instead, it was beginning to turn into a game of 'Go Fish', with Bartlett wanting to engineer little deals and side agreements with as many leaders as possible. Instead of dealing cards, he was asking CJ and Kate to deal World leaders.....

"Nothing, at least not for twenty minutes....."

"So what was making your brain hurt?" asked Kate bluntly.

"We left D.C. at 9pm and we're flying west to Tokyo, crossing the International Date Line. If he never lets me sleep, when does today end?"

"Easy....when I get to see you change your bra," replied Kate practically, seeing the steward come back with their drinks.

"Thank you," she replied on CJ's behalf, seeing that her comment had left the Chief of Staff speechless.

"I can't believe you said that!" protested CJ, accepting her Grasshopper from Kate.

"What did you think I'd say?" asked Kate, amused.

"Something sensible about timezones....don't the Navy run the clocks?" replied CJ, taking a long and satisfying sip of her Grasshopper.

"They do, but I'm an inactive Commander at present..." explained Kate as she enjoyed her Mojito.

"So the bra comment?"

"Was from my CIA days.....you've got a cherry?" asked Kate suddenly, eying CJ's cocktail glass.

"Yes, I like them, so I get one whenever I have a cocktail, even if it's not right...." explained CJ, turning to look at her friend's glass.

"Hey!" she suddenly protested, seeing Kate's arm sneak out and grab CJ's cocktail umbrella which had been stabbed through the cherry.

"What?" teased Kate, chewing on the fruit.

"I can't believe you just did that!"

"What?" Kate was enjoying being able to surprise CJ twice in one conversation. It rarely happened that the former spy could score points against the Press Secretary turned Chief of Staff.

"You stole my cherry!"

"Ate it was more accurate....." taunted Kate, enjoying every minute of the exchange, before continuing "....but since you're you, I'll give you back your cocktail umbrella....."

"You're too kind...." murmured CJ sarcastically, taking back the proffered paper umbrella, "...I can't believe you said that!"

"What, that you can have my umbrella? Or that I ate your cherry?"

"Neither....that tomorrow is distinguished by today by what bra I'm wearing!" exclaimed CJ, smacking her lover's arm.

"So, when do I get to see you change it?"

"KATE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHALLENGE: any couple, airplane, cocktail umbrella


	7. Brave New World [Kate Harper/Ainsley Hayes]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set on the day of Santos' Inauguration, Kate Harper is not anticipating her future with enthusiasm...
> 
> [Originally written in 2007 after a long writing hiatus]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS: Umm, all Ainsley and Kate eps...so shall just claim all eps, just in case...oh, and every Ainsley cliche character-trait is included, just as a heads up

It had been a strange week for everyone who worked at the White House, but for some, it had been stranger for others. For many of Bartlett's senior advisors, it was a time of celebratory relief, relief that now, after eight years of hard work and sleeplessness, their legacy was being handed over to another of the same political colour and standpoint: Matt Santos was no Jed Bartlett, but he was a Democrat, and that was the important thing. Now, as the Inauguration happened, many were packing up the final box, checking behind that last cabinet for the long lost photograph, soaking up the atmosphere one final time: it was time to leave your post...unless you had orders to stay...

* * *

 

For all the administration upheaval that was happening upstairs in the West Wing, there were some small corners of the White House for whom business was as usual. The Military Intelligence community who kept watch on the world from the bowels of the building were still watching; the Secret Service who kept watch on the world from the boundaries of the building were still watching...and Gino, the Senior Steward of the White House Mess, he was still watching the people who passed through his Mess, snatching a quick salad or, in the case of the blonde in the corner, watching her iced tea become, well, no longer iced.

Staring into the depths of her iced tea, absently scratching patterns in the condensation on the glass sat Kate Harper, her shoulders set stiffly as they became re-accustomed to the unfamiliar weight of her uniform, a uniform that had remained unworn for so long but which had miraculously still fit her after all these years of 'civilian' life: uniform that had once felt so comfortable and natural now felt somehow wrong, like a costume, increasing her general feeling of not fitting in that was once again reasserting itself after four years of gradual fading during Bartlett's second term.

"Excuse me? I don't suppose that this locale which was once the Mess is continuing to be designated such an environment even after the administration change which is currently being undertaken as I speak?"

"What?" For the consummate and experienced professional that Gino was, the fact that he forgot himself and spluttered was a testament to how convoluted and strange the question had sounded.

"I asked if this location is still operating as its previous function as was familiar to the Bartlett administration or whether the incoming Santos Administration had necessitated a period of upheaval and transference to another place..." repeated the blonde who was standing just inside the door, clutching a briefcase to her with both hands, her eyes wide as if struggling to comprehend the reality she was currently standing in.

"I, Miss, I..."

"She means is this still the Mess or has Santos had it moved..." translated Kate, having listened and remembered every word of the remarkable questions, despite never having looked up from her drink or given any indication of being remotely aware of her surroundings, never mind the behaviour of others.

"Yes, it is. Would you like a drink Ma'am?" asked Gino, his composure recovered.

"I'll have some of that rather warm looking iced tea, assuming that the liquid was originally served well chilled, and, should you still have them at your disposal, two of your fresh muffins, a fruit flavour if possible, although a seeded muffin would be an acceptable substitute..."

"Of course...Ms Hayes..." Gino prided himself on never forgetting an order and, with the request for fruit muffins, he remembered who the extraordinary blonde was. Evidently, she and her prodigious appetite had returned for President Santos.

"Thank you...are these vacant seats unclaimed?"

Looking up from her tea, Kate Harper was surprised to discover the blonde woman was attempting to sit with her. Not normally one for company, Kate decided she had to give her marks for determination, taking on an obviously anti-social Naval Commander was a bold or stupid decision. Given that the woman was obviously a White House old hand who was joining the new team, Kate decided to be generous,

"All yours..."

"Thank you." Dropping elegantly into her seat, she stuck her hand out, "Ainsley Hayes, the new White House Counsel."

Despite her reluctance to interact with people in a social setting, Kate knew when to turn on her social skills, and the White House Counsel was someone you certainly didn't look to antagonise, or come to the attention of.

"Kate Harper..." She had been about to introduce herself as the Deputy NSA, only for the gold braid on her cuff to distract her, reminding herself that was no more.

"You used to work at the NSA, but that would seem to no longer be the role you are currently fulfilling as that position is incompatible with the uniform you are currently wearing, indicating your return to a naval career."

"Do you ever speak in short sentences?"

"Pardon me?"

"Can you answer a question using only one word without asking a counter-question?" asked Kate, slightly sharper than she'd intended, although her surprise guest didn't seem to take offence.

"Yes." The smirk suggested that Ainsley Hayes, White House Counsel, had a sense of humour.

"Good." Canting her head to one side, Kate took a sip of her drink, not really noticing how it had been ruined by the temperature change.

"The question of the moment however, not whether I can answer a question as you stipulate, but whether you are capable of phrasing such a interrogation."

There was one thing, Ainsley would later discover and that was never to challenge a Naval Officer to a competition at anything, not even if you were a lawyer of some skill; right now, she was about to discover you should probably avoid challenging a former CIA agent to an interrogation competition.

"Did you work for President Bartlett’s Administration?"

"Yes."

"Did you have an office in the building?"

"Yes."

"Did you work in the West Wing?"

"No." Smirking, Ainsley leant back in her chair and demurely adjusted her jacket, enjoying the spark of challenge she could see in Kate's increasingly bright eyes.

"You worked in the Steam Pipe Distribution Room and like Gilbert and Sullivan."

"Is that a question or a statement?" asked Ainsley, not sure how to react to the depth of information Kate seemed to have at her fingertips.

"A statement." Satisfied, Kate also leant back in her chair, as Gino delivered the plate of muffins and two new glasses of iced tea.

"Thank you..." she acknowledged, not sure Gino could cope with whatever lengthy response Ainsley might spout.

"Yes, Thank you."

"So, Commander..." There was a pause as Ainsley took a generous bite of muffin, a pause that many would have tried to fill with nervous movement and noise, but not Kate, who merely waited for whatever was coming next, "...how do you know about me?" Ainsley deliberately kept her question as abrupt as possible, sensing that it was all part of the game they were now playing.

"CJ Cregg told me."

"She did? Why?"

"She thought I'd like to know you..."

"Ah..." Ainsley took another large bite of muffin, before scrutinising Kate, who unsurprisingly, didn't react under the intense look.

"Based on CJ's intervention, it leads me to the logical conclusion that we must share some common foundation which, during the upcoming chaos that is characteristic of anything that has Joshua Lyman as the leading participant, might facilitate the development of a close bond between the two of us that may even evolve into something resembling a friendship, forged as it were, against a common source of adversity..."

"Josh is scared of you as well?" asked Kate, canting her head in curiosity.

"So I am informed by Sam Seaborn. It has something to do with a fear of my politics and an inability to rationalise my appearance with my intellect."

"Sounds familiar."

"The issue at hand is therefore to establish the basis on which CJ's intervention is founded. It is likely to be something far more subtle than just our colouring and gender, and it is no doubt significant that she encouraged me to seek out you at the earliest opportunity, preferably at a location where there would not be eavesdroppers or interrupters..."

"Not many people are in the mood for lunch today..." agreed Kate, watching Ainsley attack her second muffin, idly pondering what sort of fitness regime the lawyer must attempt to adhere to if she was going to continue consuming muffins at her current rate over the next four years.

"I have a fast metabolism...are you a lesbian too?"

There were many things Kate prided herself on having, and the ability to maintain her composure in the most trying of circumstances was at the top of that list, a list that was now in tatters as said composure deserted her.

"What?"

"I am attempting to draw a conclusion on the significance of our meeting early and in private. It is not a secret that I am a Republican with bipartisan leanings, nor is it unexpected that you, as a serving member of the military, also have the potential for Republican tendencies in light of historic attitudes towards military spending. That you frighten Josh does not warrant enough of a coincidence to justify CJ's interest in our meeting, nor does the interesting point that, despite the Santos administration not wishing to appoint you as National Security Advisor, the United States Navy requires you to continue to be at the heart of any advice given on decisions involving our nautical assets, which could be interpreted as equally controversial as my own existence in this Administration..."

"Yes." Unable to withstand Ainsley's rambling any longer, Kate took both of them out of their misery.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, your first assumption is correct."

"And one I will never repeat, now that has been confirmed to me."

"Ainsley?"

"Yes?"

"You're odder than me in a rather attractive way."

"I am?"

"Yes, which is something I..." Suddenly not sure what to say, Kate lapsed into silence, unused to having these sorts of conversations with people as compelling as Ainsley.

"I would be delighted to accept your invitation for drinks somewhere private and away from public observation for reasons of professional decorum rather than unseemly haste in pursuit of anything stronger than friendship..."

"You would?"

"Yes, although there is one condition on this otherwise unconditional acceptance of your somewhat appealing offer of social engagement at some point in the near future..."

"Yes?"

"I've always found the cut of the United States regulation dress for nautical personnel to be somewhat interesting, especially when worn by those of a female persuasion who have had successful careers and attained numerous medals in recognition of their heroic activities during their rise in rank and status..."

"You find female Naval Officers with war wounds attractive?"

"Very much."

"And the condition of our social drinks is that I need to wear my uniform?" asked Kate, regretfully noting that she was having to head back to her office for a meeting in a little over two minutes.

"Quite the opposite situation Commander..."

"Ah...why?"

"A girl likes to be kissed on a date, Commander..."

"Oh..." It was probably one of the most straightforward statements Ainsley had delivered during their acquaintance, but it caused Kate's brain scramble the most.

"A date Kate..." repeated Ainsley, gathering her briefcase, conscious she had better find her new office and settle in. The Administration had officially existed for three minutes, which was surely long enough for the White House Counsel to be needed for something.

"Right, a date..." agreed Kate, politely rising to her feet, also conscious she needed to depart, although her brain was still scrambled.

"I have a propensity to enjoy Pink Squirrels..." announced Ainsley, before smiling at Kate and leaving, sure she would be hearing from the blonde again, glad she had followed CJ's advice and sought out the intriguing former-spy on her arrival.

"Huh?"

"Pardon me Ma'am?" asked Gino respectfully, only coming into the room as Kate exhaled loudly in confusion at Ainsley's parting comment.

"Nothing..." Smiling distractedly at Gino, Kate gathered her papers and exited the Mess, determined to ring CJ as soon as the former Chief of Staff had arrived in California and relocated her cell phone...she had to thank her friend for the advice...and find out what the hell a pink squirrel was...maybe, just maybe, the new world she was looking at wasn't as unpleasant as she'd first feared, having to face it alone, at the forefront of the Naval charge into a Marine-led world...or maybe, just maybe, she was feeling braver, and a little less alone in this new world...a world now containing Ainsley Hayes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Pink Squirrel was, apparently, a cocktail and one that Ainsley Hayes was rather partial to...


	8. Ancient Secret Service Tricks... [CJ Cregg/Gina Toscano]

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you..." warned Margaret when Kate Harper entered the Chief of Staff's outer office.

"Oh?" For all her years of covert operations and advanced skills, even CIA courses taught you to recognise the importance of adhering to personal assistants - many an operative had been forced to take sick leave following an ignored warning.

"She's in a bad mood...."

"Ah..." Canting her head to one side, Kate reviewed everything she knew about the state of the world as a whole, which was not inconsequential. Unfortunately, she couldn't come up with anything especially grump-inducing as far as CJ was concerned.

"There's a thing?" she finally asked, concluding that CJ's issue must be to do with domestic policy.

"Yes, a thing..." confirmed Margaret, nodding her head with enthusiasm, glad that Kate had caught on so quickly to the situation.

"Ah...what sort of thing?"

"A Josh thing...."

"Oh..." Frowning, Kate now mentally reviewed everything she knew about what the irrepressible Mr Lyman was involved with right now, sure that if there was something happening that was causing CJ to be having an issue now, she'd have mentioned it at morning staff. Not seeing the light, Kate was finally forced to admit defeat, and concede that yes, Margaret did have more patience than she did when it came to the slow release of information on a need-to-know basis. "...what thing, specifically?"

"Her second favourite coffee mug..."

"This wasn't in morning staff...." concluded Kate, wondering why this particular object was now causing problems, but deciding this was going to take sufficiently long that she could get comfortable on the corner of Margaret's desk, enabling the assistant to sit down again.

"Yes, it was..."

"It was?"

"On her desk..."

"She was drinking coffee from Starbucks, she didn't use a mug..."

"She uses it as a pencil holder."

"That's her second favourite mug?"

"Yes."

"Where's her favourite mug?"

"Here..." explained Margaret, opening her drawer to reveal the mug, sitting carefully in the middle of an otherwise empty drawer.

"Why is it...never mind..." Kate interrupted herself, deciding she didn't need to know why Margaret had CJ's favourite coffee mug in her drawer.

"I keep her mug so that the cleaners don't clear it off her desk and send to the Mess for washing. She's still drinking her morning Starbucks and hasn't yelled for coffee yet..."

"And she uses her second favourite mug as a pencil holder..." confirmed Kate, now understanding her lover's mug preferences.

"Yes."

"So why is this a Josh thing?"

"He ducked."

"He ducked?"

"Yes, when CJ yelled. We all ducked."

"But CJ yells at Josh a lot."

"Yes, but he forgot she was Leo now."

"What did he do?"

"Tell Jenkins the President would never sign the budget as long as his rider was on the bill..."

"But the President won't sign..." Kate was confused, and Margaret's conversation style was not helping.

"Danny heard..."

"Concannon?"

"Uh huh."

"And it's in his column..."

"That the President won't sign the budget because he hates green beans, yes."

"Ouch..."

"Yes. CJ yelled. Twice."

"Twice?"

"CJ the Press Secretary called him a moronic fool."

"And CJ the Chief of Staff?"

"Threw her second favourite mug at him."

"And he ducked?" guessed Kate, finally understanding, she thought.

"He failed to catch the coffee mug, so it broke."

"Because it hit him?"

"Because it hit the wall."

"She missed him?"

"By three feet."

"So she's mad."

"Yes."

"About not hitting Josh?"

"And her second favourite coffee mug."

"And her second favourite coffee mug..." repeated Kate, standing up.

"I wouldn't go in there..." repeated Margaret, seeing Kate looking towards the door before the blonde NSA strode deliberately through the door, closing it behind her, just as Charlie appeared.

"I told her not to go in there...."

"CJ yelling?"

"Uh huh..."

"Kate is cool, she'll fix it..."

 

* * *

 

 

"I'm not done yelling Josh..." muttered CJ, not looking up from her desk.

"I'm not Josh..."

"I yell indiscriminately..."

"I know."

"But you're still here?" asked CJ, amazed, looking up from her file.

"Sure..."

"Why?"

"Satellite suggests it will be at least six hours before anyone blows up anyone else..."

"So?"

"So I had time to kill..." concluded Kate, settling down on CJ's couch, obviously getting comfortable.

"But you're still here?"

"Sure..."

"Why?"

"Research."

"For what?"

"My lunch trip."

"Lunch trip?" By now, CJ had forgotten all about her work, and her fury.

"I'm going shopping."

"For what?"

"Your new second favourite mug..."

"You shop?" asked CJ incredulously.

"Yes."

"You know where to buy mugs in D.C.?"

"Yes, at least, this one I do..." concluded Kate, satisfied she now had an idea what she needed to buy, "...I'll be back..." and, as suddenly as she'd arrived, she'd gone again.

 

* * *

 

 

"She's in the Oval..." announced Margaret, spotting Kate.

"I'll leave this with you then."

"What is it?"

"Her new second favourite mug."

"You know where to buy mugs?" asked Margaret, amazed, but it was too late, Kate was gone again.

 

* * *

 

 

"Kate Harper left this for you..."

"What is it Margaret?"

"Your new second favourite mug...."

"Oh..." Enthused, CJ grabbed the box and tore into it, before pulling out the mug and starting to laugh, "...it's perfect..."

"It's Josh-proof..." agreed Margaret, before leaving to answer her phone. Charlie was right, Commander Kate Harper had fixed it, with a stainless steel, military issue, bomb proof tin mug...definitely Josh proof!

 


End file.
